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Kitchen Rant and Revelation from the Egg Lady

"All my life I have asked for no cheese on my food and I always get it", one customer told me one morning anxiously ordering his Omelet probably wondering if he would once again be the victim of the 'cheese curse'.

Why is this man and many others plagued with receiving things in restaurants that they did not ask for?


I will tell you.

Hold on, Here's the 'Revelation.'

If you go to a deli and you ask for a Roast Beef, Lettuce, Tomato on Rye with NO MAYONAISE....GUESS WHAT?


YOU WILL GET MAYONAISE!

(Or should I say you just increased your chances of getting Mayo by 85%, (not a scientific study) just 28 years of being in the food industry)


If you ask for coffee milk with NO SUGAR .....GUESS WHAT?

See? You are learning already.


You have just increased your chances of getting sugar!

Barring a really crisp server on the ball....or if you ask for something on the side which is three words.on-the-side..Easier to hear in our lack of diction New York-eese. The word 'substitution' has lots of syllables too. It's just that word NO is sometimes barely audible in the NY garble and why why why would anyone say what they didn't want anyway?

But Most importantly may I give you this advice: STOP saying what you DON"T want and JUST say what you DO want. Is this really that hard to do? You will save many; yourself , the guy cooking your food and your waitress painful frustration.

Experiment. Next time just order coffee with milk and see what happens.

My very favorite is when people list all things they don't want in their Omelet.....I don't want onion, I don't want peppers, I don't want ham, I don't want sausage.... but I'll have the rest. I now have to figure out the desired items....Oh yeah they want a spinach and mushroom. How absolutely unpositively negative. I always think I am getting a possible insight upon their general disposition. Believe me ask any professional server,You can tell allot about an individual by the way they order food. There is usually evident in their food indignation a measure of underlying joy as they list all the things they detest. Some get really ape mad about it..... especially vegetarians or people who don't eat pork products...they will sometimes repeat 3-4 times in a 'spirit of fear' in the exchange what they don't want. I heard you the first time. As if I am going to sneak meat in there somewhere to play a dirty trick on them. Why they just can't order a veggie and cheese omelet and call it a day is beyond me. Did I need to know that you were a vegetarian? Do I need to know that your religion requires certain dietary laws? I am still waiting to meet another humble vegetarian, I have only met one. Then there are those who sadly have food allergies, but a new fashion of late has been to have a professional business card made up so that when you dine or stay at a hotel you can hand the person this convenient card listing all your needy food 'facts'. As if I had time to read the card! And though I appreciate that you want to educate the world on your food allergy, I am absolutely confident that you know better than I how to eat for your need...so just don't order the_____ for pity's sake! Every now and then and that is too often for me I am given the story of why someone doesn't like a particular food. Please it is too early in the morning to hear about your irritable bowel syndrome story or that, ha ha ha, you reaeeeeelllly love the peppers, but they don't love you.

And to the guy who asked me to take the Jelly out of the little itsy-bitsy teeny jelly packets to put in your Denver Omelett, please know I will never forget you! YUK!
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As I have spent many years on a religious soap box of my own in my assessment of the state of the church today in America.I am such an expert..LOL NOT!..Actually I have various soap boxes of different heights and passion levels.I have pointed out all the negatives, the lacks, the errors..things I don't like or agree with..but do I have a positive along with that? Am I part of the answer? Am I hopeful because in Christ there is always hope? T. Austin-Sparks points out how Nehemiah was a realist but he was part of the solution....praying, working,loving, worshipping despite the warfare, the task, the devastation, the darkness all around.

I hope my Christianity expressed to other believers isn't like how our customers sometimes order Omelette's.

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