Kimmy's Ponderings

Can you imagine if our Lord had abandonment issues? Or rejection issues? What would it be like if Jesus was over sensitive and took everything way too personally? Two Thousand Years of people leaving your church,leaving YOU, blasheming your name, mocking those you love, your heart, your mission, your ultimate purpose and on top of it all dissing your Dad . 'Wasn't it enough I died for you all?, that I have to go through this emotional agony over and over again until that final day?' Thank God that is not our God. It's hard to fathom in our broken world, in our own undone-ness, in the brokeness we see of the Body of Christ and in the lack of mature whole (spiritually AND emotionally)leadership today, that we serve an emotionally healthy God. He is not reacting to you. He is purposefully responding. He is not trying to control you to protect himself from being hurt again. He is not overwhelmed by you. He will never throw in the towel on your life. He shouts from His word...

Real or Imagined? Wound piercing same tender spot Time to say Goodbye? Time to go to sleep Hoping it is imagined

"What were you trying to do?" said the plowman who helped me move my car blocking the entire road stuck in the snow with spinning wheels. It was a very painful very female moment. Thank God He Macho'd me to safety...

I Love The Smell of Seaweed Blanching in the Morning................. Not!

"When the Greeks got the gospel, they turned it into a philosophy; when the Romans got it, they turned it into a government; the Europeans turned it into a culture; and when the Americans got it, they turned it into a business." Richard Halverson

There was a time in my life well if you didn't like my Lasagna, that must of meant you didn't like me Through these grace filled Lasagna Making Years I have learned this liberating truth: I AM NOT MY LASAGNA! My identity is not layered in a baking dish, nor in the approval of others . So if you want to 'Gordon Ramsey,' my food I give you permission, just don't throw tomatoes, they are good for roasting.

For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His external power and Godhead......Romans 20:20 The leaves are almost gone and yet I still choke up in speechless awe marveling like a kid at Disney as I make the drive home from work through Mount Sinai around the Harbor onto my favorite storybook like street still in Autumn regalia. As if I had never seen Fall before! "But... Those leaves!" Natures Jewels on display pointing to our creative creator in brushstroking genius upon His Love Filled Creation Canvas. "And He saw that it was Good", whispers in the wind. These leaves seem to sing , welcoming me to join in their happy song. A happy little song bearing the sweetest melody. Happy To Die...... Happy to leave their branches. Happy to do their solitary free fall. Happy to plunge into the unknown;the wet abyss of mushy leaves below. Happy to leave what they know, what is comfortable, w...

leaves nose dive............ unforgiving rain .................... Autumn..........................Farewell

sshhhhhhhhh! lobotomy mind eddy brain squall L-I-G-H-T the storm has passed thoughts down cast watch and pray

red maples aflame Autumn's double entendre my soul's eye candy

Christ beauty crushed not spared Father's Lily Death. but not so not for me ____________________________ Fall maturation net pressed fullness Hope rattled forth as death sings

Reds, Golds and Greens. The Crisp air heralds winter's early coming. Funny Giggle Pumpkin Patches. Storybook Sunflower Fields .....Falling leaves calling, "Today the Harvest." Stop and smell Autumn Along the way....What a wonderful Maker. Creation Yields to the Master's master plan....Season's Change. Do the tree's cry in fear that winter is soon to come? Does the grass whine that the Sun is too hot? Do the Spring flowers refuse to bloom? All go on unencumbered their yielded being at rest. Why don't we? Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Luke 12:27

Found This Tonight..Powerful timely relevant word for the church. In our day of the 'merry-go-round' pursuing of: the next revival, manifestations, miracles, signs, wonders, false prophets. Ric points us to God's word . What does God's word prescribe for His church today? copy/paste scroll down within the first blog entry to link title click to hear: True revival Through God's Word Speaker: Ric Vargas September 2008 http://northwestmusings.wordpress.com/2008/09/09/ric-vargas-true-revival-through-gods-word/

'The fact is that, while certain things characterize the New Testament churches, the New Testament does not give us a complete pattern according to which churches are to be set up or formed! There is no blueprint for churches in the New Testament, and to try to form New Testament churches is only to create another system which may be as legal, sectarian, and dead as others. Churches, like the Church, are organisms which spring out of life, which life itself springs our of the Cross of Christ wrought into the every being of believers. Unless believers are crucified people, there can be no true expression of the Church'. (T. Austin Sparks, November 1952 - Words of Wisdom and Revelation)

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the one I can, and wisdom to know it's me.

I have known for 22 years that we are the church not the building we go to as the meeting place for worship. So when in our culture I state that I am going to the church, I am NOT making a theological statement. I AM NOT MAKING A THEOLOGICAL STATEMENT. I just happen to live in a culture that for hundreds of years when looking at the place where the real church gathers call it a church. Silly right? I am not saying that I am the building anymore than if I said I was going to the supermarket. Would THAT make me the supermarket? It's not to be about the building or the actual church/bride anyway...(why point to ourselves the church even)...there is a greater revealing...GREATER! psssst.....we are to point to Jesus. Stop being silly, we sound weird to the 'unCHURCHED.' God help me hold tongue and smile when the next person corrects me on this point that is so new and revelatory to them.

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater, He sendeth more strength as our labors increase; To added afflictions He addeth His mercy, To multiplied trials He multiplies peace. When we have exhausted our store of endurance, When our strength has failed ere the day is half done, When we reach the end of our hoarded resources Our Father’s full giving is only begun. Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision, Our God ever yearns His resources to share; Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing; The Father both thee and thy load will upbear. chorus: His love has no limits, His grace has no measure, His power no boundary known unto men; For out of His infinite riches in Jesus He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Jesus draw me ever nearer As I labour through the storm. You have called me to this passage, and I’ll follow, though I’m worn. May this journey bring a blessing, May I rise on wings of faith; And at the end of my heart’s testing, With Your likeness let me wake. Jesus guide me through the tempest; Keep my spirit staid and sure. When the midnight meets the morning, Let me love You even more. Let the treasures of the trial Form within me as I go – And at the end of this long passage, Let me leave them at Your throne.

Are you going through a dry spell? Yes, I've been there before Where the trees are slowly whithering Where their roots cry out for more Where the desert floor is dry and cracked No clouds hang in the sky No winter rain or spring it seems No change in sight Are you going through a dry spell? I've been there a time or two Where life seems to stay the same for a while You want to change but don't know how to It's the place where you feel empty inside Can't put your finger on the need I look at God and see what I want to be I look at me and see what I am But seasons change and then they pass no way to know how long they'll last I'd love to know the reasons why But God knows Seasons change Are you going through a dry spell? I was there a while ago Now I've come to a place where the rain falls where the trees bear fruit and grow where I find a refuge in my God It's a place of surrender I know I look at God and see what I want to be He looks at me and sees ...

Circular Bird Round and Round Up then DOWN Wounded her wing during a crazed Flight Foolish she was she thought day was night

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvytewIxll0&feature=player_embedded Powerful song of Identification. Our God a Man of sorrows who was/is aquainted with Grief. Dark Night of Your Soul? Be encouraged, God is the strength of your heart, and your portion, He is the keeper of your heart, the light of your soul. He will bring and see you through, His eyes ever on you, His heart revealed in new ways to yours. (PHOTO:Jackson Hole, Wyoming in Fall)

The BIG Day..Finally!...Waterpump/Timing belt/Much needed battery.....Breakfast at the Turkish restauant, walking all over Centereach, hanging at the Fish Library.....cazy bored now, think I'll go and read. Forgot Austin Sparks at Home..Drats! ____________________________________________________________________ *Never Never make a BIG decision in a crisis, you are not thinking clearly....wait till you know what to do, it will come and in peace as you hear again with clarity. *It's not about how you feel. WE ALL don't feel like doing the right thing some or a lot of the time....Just DO IT! Do what you know is right, what the bible says to do and your emotions will eventually catch up with your obedience. Trust me your heart will change. *Pray for those people that you most loathe..LOL.....you won't loathe them anymore!!! but love them as God gives you His heart for them. Prayer is one of the greatest weapons against our flesh..Pray the very best for their lives, pray eve...

"Something that God has done is the testimony that God would revive, not what man has done for God, but what God Himself has done, and more-a testimony not only in life, but a testimony of life;not only what God has done but what God will do through what He has done. He has raised an instrument, he has brought it back to life, He has a vessel ressurected-Now see what He will do through it." T. Austin-Sparks chapter....The Principle of Resurrection The Recovering of the Lord's Testimony in Fullness.

I make this recipe every week at work....anywhere from about 24 pounds to 48 LB'S over the Holidays. I have had it since I was 18 years old from my Aunt Lorretta....It has evolved quite a bit but the foundation is still there. Basic Recipe:Step One 2 Pounds of Carolina Rice (NO OTHER!) 7 cups of white granulated sugar Three Half Gallons of Whole Milk One Half gallon of water(SHHH...ahhh there's a reason, I USE to use ONLY milk....this way comes out much better..Heavy Cream will come later.) 2 rinds of two oranges 2 rinds of two lemons scrape three Vanilla beans Small handful of Kosher salt(no other) PLACE ALL MIXED INGREDIENTS IN HEAVY GAUGED POT BRING TO INITIAL BOIL PULL OUT CITRUS RINDS LOWER FLAME SO THAT IT BUBBLES REAAAAL LOW BUT STILL 'BUBBLES' PLACE LID ON POT COOK FOR ONE HOUR STIRRING OFTEN STEP TWO: One Quart of Heavy Cream Cinnamon TT Nutmeg WHISPER 30 Egg Yolks or 3 cups of Real Liquid Egg MIX ALL ADD TO POT COOK FOR 15 ADDITIONAL MINUTES VARIATIONS: ADD ...

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.

"I think very often we are troubled and bothered about something that is not true as to ourselves. We are thinking un-truths about ourselves. Of course, we know our prone-ness to sin we know the evil that is in our flesh,we know how wicked we are and how unworthy,and all that: but then we allow that to go too far. I ask you this: with all our unworthiness, all our sinfulness, all that is evil in our flesh, have we not a heart for the Lord after all? We feel we blunder, we err-yes, but we have a heart for the Lord. Where did that heart come from? There was a time when we had no heart for the Lord, when we had no disposition, no tendency, that way; we were not inclined after the lord. But something has happened in us stronger and deeper than all our weaknesses, and our waywardness, our follies and our sins. There is a reaction every time we make a mistake, and sends us back to the Lord in grief,in sorrow, in disappointment, in longing, and we are not happy again until we have found...

In Your light we see light. Psalm 36:9

"What did God have in mind for fellowship? What does God desire real fellowship to produce in those who gather? If we can see that,perhaps we can acknowledge that we don't have it. But if we can see what God really intended for fellowship it might awaken something within us, to place greater value on it." http://www.christianmaturity.com/Audio-Messages/2009/ Ric Vargas, MAY 2009 (scroll down to bottom of list to May)

"We frequently have religious excitements and enthusiasms gotten up by the cunning methods and hypnotic influence of the mere professional evangelist or “revivalist,” but these are not Revivals, and are not needed: they are a curse and not a blessing; they are the devil’s imitations of a Revival." - R. A. Torrey

"All my life I have asked for no cheese on my food and I always get it", one customer told me one morning anxiously ordering his Omelet probably wondering if he would once again be the victim of the 'cheese curse'. Why is this man and many others plagued with receiving things in restaurants that they did not ask for? I will tell you. Hold on, Here's the 'Revelation.' If you go to a deli and you ask for a Roast Beef, Lettuce, Tomato on Rye with NO MAYONAISE....GUESS WHAT? YOU WILL GET MAYONAISE! (Or should I say you just increased your chances of getting Mayo by 85%, (not a scientific study) just 28 years of being in the food industry) If you ask for coffee milk with NO SUGAR .....GUESS WHAT? See? You are learning already. You have just increased your chances of getting sugar! Barring a really crisp server on the ball....or if you ask for something on the side which is three words.on-the-side..Easier to hear in our lack of diction New York-eese. The word ...

Recovering this weekend on the couch in a vat of Black and White Offerings from Turner Classic Movie Channel....Hours upon Hours actually.....of declared must see 'essential' classics. This was my first time watching the station. I love the art of film. It was exciting especially because they had no commercials and added an info preface about the movie; some even with banter between two movie buffs. It began with Hitchcock; Notorious, The Man who spoke Too Much, North by Northwest. Then the infamous Philadelphia Story, David Copperfield(My personal fav pic of them all which was new for me, now I want to read the Dickens Classic),Holiday and two more that I can't recall the titles of. Last night I tuned in again to catch a two hour Bio on Cecil B. Demille. It was fascinasting and fantastic. Initially I thought that I was in for some wholesome experience from yester-years gone by. Some were of that genre,I really enjoyed them. Yet to my amazement for the most part how man...

Yes Virginia it is truly harder to die to self, let Jesus be Lord of all, pray for a TRUE revival and wait on Him than to play church. Let us turn again our hearts from man and their sometimes bizarre personalities and tattoo's to Christ. "Repent therefore of this your wickedness and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you." Acts 8:22 NKJV

I read two verses of this old Hymn tonight I never saw before, from references by T Austin-Sparks and H. A.Ironside...They are BELOW in italics.... So very Powerful. Couldn't find anywhere through Google..will research again. ENJOY...km I hear the Savior say, “Thy strength indeed is small; Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in Me thine all in all.” Refrain: Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe; Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. For nothing good have I Whereby Thy grace to claim; I’ll wash my garments white In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb. I hear the accuser roar of ills that I have done I know them all and thousands more Jehovah findeth none Thought the rentless foe accuses Sins recounting like a flood Every charge our God refuses Christ has answered with His blood And now complete in Him, My robe, His righteousness, Close sheltered ’neath His side, I am divinely blest. Lord, now indeed I find Thy pow’r, and Thine alone, Can change the leper’s spots A...

" Worship is a Life thing, not a Weekly thing." "Worship is this, that Life is for the Lord. Every moment, Every hour, Every day, Every week and Every Year-It is all for the Lord. That is worship. Our first thought in the morning is the Lord , and our last thought at night is the Lord; and although there are many occupations of the mind and hand during the hours of the day, there is something behind the one who has been redeemed unto God that is always reaching out to Him. The lives of such are the prayer of worship. They are not always putting it into language and phrases, and they are not always on their knees, and they are not always in meetings,; but from behind them, so to speak there is that which is reaching out to the Lord-they long for the Lord. It is true of them, as it is true of those in the days of Jerusalem's glory, though they were far from Jerusalem they long for Jerusalem. "Oh to be there, the place of the altar, the place of God, the pla...

There is a Time to keep silence, and a Time to speak (Ecc. 3:7) We all have been misunderstood one time or another in varying degrees. There are times when we are called upon to explain ourselves. There are times when we are called to be silent and allow our Great Defender who is our eternal defense, to be that Great advocate on our behalf. There is no battle that is not won and overcome if we would just run to that throne of Grace and Mercy restraining ourselves from reacting and acting in our own strength. My Faithful Helper will help me today. Difficult? Yes...But an identification with the God who understands, our God who was and still is rejected and despised of men. There is always life that comes forth from such a painful wound as He Himself our Comforter is that faithful friend that sticks closer than a brother. We welcome and desire the judgments of God who is good and sees all, our Great Potter upon us His clay. But the judgements of man and brothers can sometimes rip your h...

"Put all your heart into what you do, or else put none of it in." - C.H. Spurgeon

"On March 30, 1863, President Lincoln personally issued a historic "Proclamation Appointing a National Fast Day," a plea to the people that contained these words: We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven. We have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity. But we have forgotten God. We have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. I do hereby request all the people to abstain on that day from their ordinary secular pursuits, and to unite, at their several places of public worship and their respective homes, in keeping the day holy to the Lord."

And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold. Nehemiah 8:10 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you and that your joy might be full. John 15:11 I'll never forget as a new believer a super smiley congregant approaching me after a service asking...."Where's your Joy?" Did I leave it in the car? What did she mean? Actually,There should have been no surprise there. I am sure my countenance had the appearance of one being baptised and overly marinating in lemon juice. I possessed acidic remnants of being only recently rescued by God from the cynic clinic. Yet I loathed and still do at times the bumper sticker chicken soup lady christianity that we all can dishout complete with the guilt and condemnation chaser. Why do we do that? Sadly, We all sometimes offer a cultural 'christianity' rather than Christ. I love reading of King David and could live in the Psalms and the billboard sized decla...

"We are not going to organize something for God to bless." - Leonard Ravenhill

Psalm 56:13 For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living? Why do we doubt in wilderness times God's active present work and power upon us, around us and in us; His workmanship? If I look at myself or the latest storm, it is a hopeless impossibilty but when I am again made to look up and cast my gaze upon the author and finisher of our faith I am made to see the provision of Hevean. The one who saved us from ourselves initially, and rescues continually 'me from me', leading us upward and onward unto Himself. The All Merciful One who took us out of great darkness and brought us into the light of Himself..Will He who said that He would never leave us nor forsake us now midway abandon the work He began? I can't handle you!! I am out of here! Will He now change His mind? Is God fickle? Is the God who sees all past, present and future taken back at the state of our hearts today...

How Vast the Father's Love for Us YouTube Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjD0lv8hx5o

How Deep The Father's Love For Us..... lyrics How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son, To make a wretch His treasure How great the pain of searing loss,The Father turns His face away As wounds which mar the chosen One, Bring many sons to glory Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers It was my sin that held Him there Until it was accomplished His dying breath has brought me life I know that it is finished I will not boast in anything No gifts, no power, no wisdom But I will boast in Jesus Christ His death and resurrection Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer But this I know with all my heart His wounds have paid my ransom